Is your jealousy causing tension in your marriage? Jealousy if not controlled can rule your marriage and will eventually cause problems in your relationship. If you failed in controlling your jealousy, it will eventually ruin your marriage.
Being suspicious and constantly accusing your spouse of being unfaithful to you without solid evidences can harm your marriage. If your jealousy is hurting your marriage then you have to find ways of controlling your jealousy. So what you have to do to successfully control your jealousy?
Acknowledge that you have a jealousy problem. You have to recognize first that you have a jealousy problem before you could control it. You must admit that your irrational behavior and suspicions of your spouse is causing problems in your marriage and that controlling your jealousy is the solution to save your marriage.
Talk to your spouse. Stalking or violating your spouse’s privacy to verify if your jealousy is true or not is not a good idea. It is best to talk to your spouse. Honestly talk about how you feel and your suspicions but do it acceptable manners and don’t blame your spouse. It is important to have a heart to heart talk with your spouse acknowledging your jealousy problem and that you don’t like what you feel and you want your spouse’s support to help you in controlling your jealousy problem. Your spouse will most likely understand and will become more patient with you and help you overcome your jealousy problem.
Work on your self-esteem. Jealousy sometimes stem from having low self-esteem and from your insecurities. You have that feeling that you are less important compared to the person who is the source of your jealousy. View yourself in a more positive way. Get rid of your self-pity and the negative perception you have for yourself. Focus on your lovable traits and why your spouse chose to marry you. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are a unique individual who have unique qualities that your spouse decided to be with you. Love yourself more and always believe that although you are not perfect (no one is) you are worth loving. If you know your worth, controlling your jealousy is not that hard.
Trust your spouse more. You cannot baby sit your marriage and you cannot watch over your spouse 24/7. You have to learn to trust your spouse because trust is a very important ingredient of a successful and happy marriage. Couples do not have to spend every minute of their lives together. Although they have to grow together, they also have to grow individually. Imagine if you are always together every minute, you’ll eventually run out of things to talk about and the excitement in your marriage will eventually fade. You both need to grow individually and spend time with other people too and bring new things in your relationship.
Make yourself busy. It is a common saying that an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. If you have more free time and using it to accommodate your irrational jealousy, then I’ll be hard to control your jealousy. In controlling your jealousy, you have to use your time on other things to take your mind off your jealousy. Keep yourself busy with things you love doing. Are you passionate about something? Do you have talent in cooking, arts or music? Then pursue your passion and use your time wisely. Your spouse will appreciate you more and will find you more interesting.
Get help. Jealousy is a normal feeling and can bring spice in a marriage but if it’s unreasonable to the point that it is causing troubles in your marriage, then it is a problem that should be addressed. If controlling your jealousy on your own is not possible, then you have to seek help. Jealousy can stem from psychological causes and professional help might be needed to control your jealousy. A jealous spouse may have experienced being abandoned or been in a family ruined by infidelity that he or she finds it hard to trust people. If you feel that you cannot handle your jealousy problem on your own, do not hesitate to seek help.